You may have to walk the road of life alone
You may have to walk the road of life alone: Be careful who you choose as your travel partners
A few weeks ago, we posted a lesson on betrayal by a friend or someone who you thought was close to you. Having experienced this recently, I have come to realise that when we were younger, we may have been surrounded by many so-called friends. Maybe they gave us the confidence we needed while we were still getting our lives sorted out.
As we grow older and reach what could be termed the last phase of our lives, many, if not most, of these “friends” have not just stopped walking the narrow road towards eternal life, but are now walking with the ungodly. They are standing with the sinners. They are sitting with the scornful. Their spiritual walk with God has come to a premature end (Psalm 1). Can you see how the actions of first walking, then standing, and finally sitting are examples of progressively slowing down? This is what Paul refers to as the falling away, in 2 Thessalonians 2:3. The Word tells us that they who do not do this, are blessed:
1Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. – Psalm 1:1
If you suddenly find yourself alone while you continue diligently towards the winning line, relish in the situation. You are headed for your ultimate destination – heaven. Walking alone does not mean being lonely or giving up on fellowship of, or in, the church. Instead, we are called to fellowship much more as we see the end of the race, and the winning line is in sight:
24And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: 25Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. – Hebrews 10:24-25
Why then do we have the topic as possibly walking your road alone, or with only a few true friends? Simply this: each of us must one day answer individually for what we have done on Earth. No one else will do this and you will not have a proxy to appear before God on your behalf:
11For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. 12So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God. – Romans 14:11-12
In this life though, we will still need someone close to us. Maybe this is an older person, who acts as a mentor. Maybe it is someone about your age, in which case you are peers and help and learn from one another:
9Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 10For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
This could ideally be your marriage partner, but it may not be. It is then that the value of good, trusted friends is immeasurable. However, we must choose our friends carefully. How do we know that they are good friends? Test them by looking at the lives they lead. Do your friends have the same passion for spiritual growth you have, or are they just a stumbling block in your path? Do they guide you towards a closer walk with God or do they try to get you to take it easy and enjoy this life just a little bit more, just a little bit longer, straying further from the goal? Solomon knew the value of selecting a trusted friend:
20He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. – Proverbs 13:20
He explains that when walking with people who are spiritually wise, their wisdom will rub off on you, and you will be positively influenced. In business there is a saying that gets close to the same idea: If you want to be successful, surround yourself with successful people.
How do we know our friends are wise? Test them against the Word of God. This requires you to study the Word yourself so that you can accurately assess them, based on the teaching of the Word. Again, you must take the initiative.
What do you do if you find a friend has strayed, or simply does not want to walk the same road you are walking anymore? You can try speaking to them first, but if this does not work, just let them go. Your time on Earth may be more limited than you realise, and thus every day is precious. Do not waste it on someone who will not add value to it. Many years ago, a fellow member in our church told me this: Do not share your life with people who will not appreciate you, even if they are Christians. These are very true words.
It may sound un-Christian like, and it will be the reaction of those who are not Spirit-filled and are looking for a way to criticise you. That is their problem. You must focus on the prize:
7But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.8Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, 9And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: 10That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; 11If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. – Philippians 3:7-10
The main parts of these verses are highlighted. Paul’s wish was that he would win Christ as his prize, be found in Him (2 Corinthians 5:17), and know Him. Paul gave up all the worldly comforts he could have had and focused on the prize – seeing Jesus and being with Him.
Parting ways with someone who has been a friend can be difficult and we should ensure that we do it in the kindest way possible. Often, the best way to do this is not to confront the person but rather give them time to prove themselves. A gradual release may be the best. If they were meant to be part of your life, the situation will be mended. If not, there will not be any reconciliation and the relationship will just fade away.
Do not allow the hurt of losing a friend cause resentment. Move on and if you need to, find a mentor your own age or older. There are many older people with infinitely more experience than you have, whatever age you are. Many of these older people may be yearning for a believer to share their last years with, as a mentor, or just someone to pray with. At the end of the road though, you must cross the river to everlasting life. Your prize will be waiting there.